


Consider Investing in Locks for Your Windows

by charmingStrangeness



Category: Gintama
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Gen, Ginzura - Freeform, Prompt Fic, an excess of sass, idiots being idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 11:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11080278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmingStrangeness/pseuds/charmingStrangeness
Summary: Zura slips through Gintoki’s window, as Zura often does, far too early in the morning for any reasonable human to be awake at all, much less out of bed and breaking into their friend’s home.





	Consider Investing in Locks for Your Windows

**Author's Note:**

> i'm working on some longer stuff for gintama but i got an itch to create/publish more content _now_ so i dug up a dialogue prompt game and wrote this goofy thing pls enjoy
> 
> here's [the post](http://happylilprompts.tumblr.com/post/158808121759/find-your-dialogue-prompt); the prompt i ended up with was: “Help me.” / “Oh maaaaan, sounds _amazing_ , who can resist!”

Zura slips through Gintoki’s window, as Zura often does, far too early in the morning for any reasonable human to be awake at all, much less out of bed and breaking into their friend’s home.

“What the _hell_ are you doing in here,” Gintoki hisses from his futon. “Get out of my house.” 

“Ah, Gintoki. You’re awake.” 

Zura’s blatant disregard for Gintoki’s request is downright _offensive._ “Did you hear me, idiot wig? Go away before I kill you.” 

“It’s not idiot wig, it’s Katsura.” Gintoki had absolutely seen that coming, and yet the standard response only serves to infuriate him even further. “I’m surprised you’re even up,” the aforementioned idiot wig continues, blithely unaware of the fact that the end of his life is drawing closer with every passing second that he spends existing within the confines of Gintoki’s residence. 

“If you _must_ know, I got up to pee a while ago and have been trying to fall back asleep. I was pretty damn close, too, before you broke in here.” Gintoki takes special care to ensure that his scowl isn’t being hidden by the edges of his blanket. “Hell, Zura, don’t tell me you were planning to _wake me up?_ ” 

“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura,” he corrects. “And yes, I would have woken you up. I’m here because I need your help.” 

“I’m not a trained psychiatrist, Zura. I can’t give you the help you need,” Gintoki deadpans. 

“Not Zura, Katsura. The other day when I was running away from the Shinsengumi, I dropped something important, and I couldn’t find it when I retraced my steps later. I need you to get it back for me.” 

“…Are you _kidding_ me right now. You _broke into my house_ this early in the morning for _that._ ” 

“Please, Gintoki? I know you have a connection with them. Please, help me.” 

“Oh maaaaan, sounds _amazing_ , who could resist!” Gintoki drawls in the most sarcastic tone of voice he’s capable of. “I’ll just waltz right in and ask my pal the mayo demon to hand over a wanted terrorist’s most prized possession! I’m sure that will go over _extremely_ well, and definitely will not land me in jail.” 

“Gintoki, don’t be like that.” 

Gintoki responds by rolling onto his other side and curling into the fetal position.

“Like hell am I gonna help you with something that stupid.” 

“You’re acting like a child.” 

Gintoki groans and drags the blanket over his head. 

He hears a heavy sigh from behind him, and then, in a resigned tone of voice, “I’ll pay you.” 

Instinctively, Gintoki pulls down the blanket and glances over his shoulder before he can stop himself. There’s a brief flash of something suspiciously _triumphant_ in Zura’s eyes, and Gintoki grits his teeth and silently curses his reflexes for betraying him like this. 

“…what did you lose?” he finally asks. 

“The eyepatch for my Space Captain Katsura costume,” Zura answers, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and Gintoki sees red. 

_“Don’t come to me this early with that kind of trash, you goddamn shitty hack terrorist!”_

“It’s not goddamn shitty hack terrorist, it’s Katsura.” 

(Less than half a second later, Gintoki's pillow connects with Zura’s face with a satisfying _thwack._ )

**Author's Note:**

> questions/comments? drop them below or visit me on tumblr @[charmingstrangeness](http://charmingstrangeness.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks for reading <3


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